In a mental health crisis, call or text 988 or go to the nearest emergency room. For other emergencies, call 911.
Areas of Focus
Trauma & Complex Trauma
When people hear the word trauma, they often think of combat, car accidents, life threatening medical events or physical or sexual assault. Based on our current understanding of the brain and nervous system, I use a much broader definition. Trauma is anything that was too much too soon, too much for too long or too little for too long. Put another way, trauma is anything that overwhelms the natural ability of your brain and nervous system to cope, process information and make sense out of what happened. This might include a lot of different things, such as (and some of these categories overlap) “big T” and “little t” traumas, complex trauma, attachment trauma, developmental trauma, physical abuse, sexual abuse or assault, emotional abuse, neglect, unmet needs, relationship ruptures, adverse life circumstances, preverbal or in utero trauma, transgenerational trauma and more.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is one type of reaction to trauma, but other responses can also include (to name a few) complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, dissociation, addictions, compulsions and other kinds of problematic behaviors. I will try to help you understand how your particular responses, emotions, behaviors, thoughts, patterns, etc., make sense in the context of your history and how it’s likely that at one time they helped you get your needs met or even helped you survive. I’ll also teach you skills to use to manage your responses and use brain-based therapies to help you heal from the past and change those things that are no longer working for you.
Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Phobias
Some anxiety is normal, but if it is extreme, chronic or intolerable it can interfere with your life. I work with people to address a range of anxiety issues, including generalized anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks (or anxiety attacks), fears or phobias, fear of abandonment or separation distress, persistent worries and irrational worries. You might already know that your anxiety stems from a trauma or have no idea what caused it. It might have started recently, or you might always have been an “anxious person.” I’ll help you figure out what it connects to and what triggers it and teach to manage it. Then we’ll use brain-based therapies to rewire your brain, so you can eventually stop feeling so anxious in the first place.
Complicated or Traumatic Bereavement
Sometimes the typical ways of working with grief are not enough. If you’ve experienced a traumatic loss (for example, if your loved one died in a traumatic manner, such as suicide, homicide, car accident, combat, etc.) or if a loss (whether through death, estrangement, dementia, mental illness, substance abuse, etc.) has been traumatic for you in other ways, normal grief counseling often does not work. You have to also treat the trauma.
Or, you may have what we call complicated bereavement, which is when grief seems to last longer or interfere with your life more than what would usually be expected. This is sometimes because the loss was traumatic, or it can happen if the loss triggers unresolved issues from your past (whether or not you’re consciously aware of that). Whether it’s a traumatic loss or complicated bereavement, I can help you process the loss and whatever is connected to it to help you stop feeling so stuck.
Relationship Issues
While I do not offer couples’ therapy, I do help people improve their relationships, whether you have an issue with a romantic partner, family member, friend, roommate, co-worker, etc., or if you’ve noticed relationship patterns that repeat over and over again in your life. Maybe you need to decide whether to stay in a relationship or to stay friends with someone, or maybe you want to make more friends but get anxious when talking to new people. Perhaps you’re aware of tendencies that make your relationships feel unhealthy (for example, people pleasing, dependence, co-dependence, being controlling, being a perfectionist, not being able to set and maintain boundaries, avoiding confrontation, etc.) or that you always get triggered when other people say or do a particular type of thing. These kinds of issues often stem from unresolved past experiences and ways you learned to relate to other people when you were young. Back then, these ways of interacting with others helped you get your needs met, or even helped you survive, but now they may be causing problems. I’ll help you understand those connections (if you don’t already) and process the unresolved issues to change the present situation.
Stress Management
Low levels of stress can be good, alerting you to a problem, motivating you, keeping you focused and helping you perform better or be more productive. Even higher levels of stress can be useful if you are in a truly dangerous situation; it can save your life. Unfortunately, though, sometimes your brain sets off the danger alarm even when there is not actually a life-threatening danger.
When stress is too intense or lasts too long it becomes toxic. You might feel (or others might say) you “overreact” or are “irrational” in stressful situations, or your stress may remain high longer than necessary. You may not be able to calm down before reacting to something new, or it might not feel safe to calm down at all. If it seems like your stress “switch” is stuck in the on position, you might feel overwhelmed and unable to manage. I can teach you techniques to calm your brain and nervous system, decrease the frequency of big stress responses and get them under control more quickly when they do occur. We can also address any underlying issues to try to prevent these reactions in the first place.
Personal Growth
You don’t need a mental health diagnosis or a huge problem in your life to want therapy. Some people come to therapy for personal growth. You might feel like things are going pretty well, and you just want to see what could be even better. Perhaps you have (like I do!) a “growth mindset.” I always want to grow, learn and improve myself and my relationships.
This might seem counter to the advice therapists often give, to accept yourself as you are. However, these aren’t really
opposites. We can truly accept ourselves as we are now and also work towards growth and self-improvement. None of us is or ever will be perfect, so there is always more any of us could work on if we choose. The only question is how much time and energy (and, yes, money) you want to dedicate to that process. If you have a growth mindset and want to see what could improve in your life, I’d be happy to help!
But as I am I
I am content to be what I am not content to stay
– Alex Stevens, “An 80-Years Self, Portrait”
Referrals
Certain types of things either require specialized training that I don’t have or may not be appropriate for me to work with as a solo practitioner and/or in virtual therapy (as opposed to in a group practice, agency setting or higher level of care and/or in person). This depends in part on the exact situation or severity of the problem. If something like this were to become apparent once we are already working together, I will talk with you about it, assess whether or not it is appropriate for me to continue to work with you and support you with referrals as needed.
I work with adult clients, primarily professional women ages 25 to 65. This page gives an overview of my areas of focus. While I can also work with clients around issues that are not listed here, these are the ones with which I have the most training and experience.